Just My Luck

"Just my luck!" I said  to myself as my stomach growled. There was an angry tiger within and it wanted to get out. "What's that, darlin'?" Jenny asked.

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking to myself." I replied quickly. We'd met a few nights ago at a bar over on the south side and, if I have to be completely honest, she was way out of my league. I mean, we weren't even in the same sport! Smoking hot with legs a mile long and a face that Cupid would want to keep all for himself. Hell, he'd shoot himself with the arrow for a woman like this. And here I am, dressed to the nines, not a dime in my pocket, and a stomach full of bubbles. That's right, family, I have the bubble-guts. 

"Just my luck!" "Huh?" She asked. "I'm sorry." I said quickly. "It's a bad habit of mine to speak to myself." I was blushing pink now. This was the kind of deal that only a fool like me could mess up. This is the lay out: I work at a restaurant as a busboy and she's a lawyer. Yeah, a freakin' lawyer! The date went over well enough, mostly because she's a big TV buff like me, and thankfully I had just enough to pay the bill. She was such a doll that she covered the tip! (Lord knows I didn't have it) Don't judge me, she insisted!

"Coffee or wine?" My stomach tossed at the thought of coffee. "Wine,please." I smiled with a practiced charm. "Oh, and where's your restroom?" I asked casually.

"I'm sorry, I don't have one." She laughed. That sense of humor was really cute at dinner, but with the demons that possessed my stomach at that moment, it wasn't funny at all. I winked, and walked as she pointed me in the right direction.

With great haste I readied myself to handle business. I remembered a gift someone bought me, some "toilet perfume." I smiled and thanked that angel as I shoved a hungry hand in my pocket . I sprayed a few times and held it in my hands for the duration of my "break". Happy that the possession didn't last long, I got up and flushed the toilet. But as I went to button my pants, I noticed the toilet overflowing. "No!" I hissed as my swirling "business" floated out of the can. To my horror, I dropped the "toilet perfume" in the toilet as I was standing up. " Just my luck." I said as I heard a knock on the door.