For The Sake of Conversation

 “I’m a mouth breather.” The thirty year old said proudly. “What?” The room of gentlefolk asked in horror. “I am a mouth breather. Haven’t you all noticed by now?” The thirty year old devil left his mouth agape and flit his eyes to and from each person. He coughed in his hand and touched his heart. “I am a mouth breather. Life would be simpler if we all did it this way.” Bubbles of delight popped in his soul as the room erupted with shouts. “How dare you?” One woman said.“You animal!” Another whispered. “Monster!” A man bellowed, pointing a finger at our Prince of Darkness.

“You can’t be serious!” The most beautiful woman said from beside him. “I am.” He said with a smile. The demon didn’t have the urge to cough but did anyway. He put his left hand to his mouth now, having already used the right, and coughed into it. The woman nearly gagged. “Why don’t you use your chicken wing?” “I am no chicken.” He replied in protest. “Well, then in the crook of your elbow.” The angel returned. “I prefer the hand. I don’t like a wet crook.” He said with a serious tone. The room filled with boos and jeers once again.

 They threw the deviant out. He smiled through the pain and coughed in the crook of his elbow and walked home, breathing through his nose.